Helping Our "Singles" (Unmarried Members) of Our Community to Marry

By: Imam Shamsi Ali

The Muslim community living in the West faces numerous challenges. These include navigating life as immigrants in a new homeland, ensuring their children receive a good education and career opportunities, and existing in neighborhoods where they may not always feel welcomed.

However, their greatest concern revolves around their deen (faith)—their Islamic identity and the freedom to practice their religion. Many parents, in particular, are deeply worried about the future of their children and the generations to come. This fear is not unfounded. Numerous immigrant Muslims who settled in the West have witnessed their children lose connection with Islam over time.

Thus, addressing the future of our generations in the Western context is essential for the survival of our community. This discussion is not merely about academic or professional success. On this front, America remains a land of opportunity—a place where individuals can pursue higher education and build promising careers. I have met countless parents with humble occupations, such as taxi drivers or security personnel, who have managed to send their children to the most prestigious colleges and universities.

However, the real concern lies in preserving their deen—their faith and identity as Muslims. The society we live in often presents values and norms that conflict with Islamic teachings, creating significant challenges for young Muslims trying to uphold their faith. It is therefore understandable and logical for parents to worry about the survival of their children’s Islamic identity in this environment.

Helping Them Find Life Partners

One of the critical challenges facing our younger generation is finding suitable life partners—a wife for young men and a husband for young women. Many parents, both fathers and mothers, have personally reached out to me, expressing their concern that their children are growing older without marrying. In most cases, this is not because the children do not wish to marry. Rather, they struggle to find suitable or ideal candidates.

This presents a real dilemma for young Muslims. On one hand, they grow up in an environment where interaction between genders is commonplace, with friendships and communication across genders being normal. On the other hand, they are aware of Islamic teachings and ethics regarding gender interactions, particularly in the context of serious relationships like marriage.

This situation brings to mind a verse from the Holy Qur’an:
وَأَنكِحُواْ ٱلۡأَيَٰمَىٰ مِنكُمۡ وَٱلصَّٰلِحِينَ مِنۡ عِبَادِكُمۡ وَإِمَآئِكُمۡ ۚ إِن يَكُونُواْ فُقَرَآءَ يُغۡنِهِمُ ٱللَّهُ مِن فَضۡلِهِۦ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ وَٰسِعٌ عَلِيمٞ

"And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male and female slaves. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty, and Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing."
(QS. An-Noor 24: Ayat 32)

From this verse, I would like to highlight two important points:

It is a duty upon believers to help the unmarried among them to marry. The verse contains a command (fi’l amr) instructing believers to assist single individuals in finding spouses. Naturally, this involves helping them identify suitable and ideal candidates for marriage.

The command is addressed in plural form, meaning it is a collective obligation. While individual parents play a crucial role, Allah clearly expects the Ummah (community) to be actively involved in helping the unmarried get married.

The Role of Community

Community involvement, through Muslim organizations, community centers, and masajid, is vital in addressing this issue. Initiatives such as matchmaking events—or any appropriately named gatherings aligned with Islamic guidelines—are essential for this purpose.